A Step in the Right Direction

I"m not really sure what to say anymore. I feel like screaming in a crowed room. I'm not trying to lie to anyone or be deceitful. If you have questions; I'll give answers but out of respect for those closest to me and out of respect for myself I'm not willing to 'air out all my dirty laundry' in a blog or on Facebook. That said, writing is how I process and my blog is for me, not for anyone else. If you want to read about the parts of my life that I'm willing to share; stay tuned. If you are going to judge me, try to change me, or hold what I say and how I feel against me, kindly stop reading my blog and stick to reading my FB updates and 'liking' my pictures. I enjoy writing and I enjoy letting the people I care about see bits and pieces of me that I usually wouldn't share in person or over the phone. I know that my blog has had a lot of recipes and fun stories about Titus and about me and about day to day life, and I will continue to post about those things but the past couple months every time I sit down to write something I feel like I'm sugar coating everything. I sit at the computer thinking, for hours sometimes, trying to come up with things to say that everyone is going to want to hear about and omitting the stories that might offend. And that's no one's fault but my own. From now on I'm just going to 'do me', whatever that expression is supposed to mean. No more sugar coating and no more thinking about what everyone else is going to think of me...

Somehow even as I'm writing all of this I'm contemplating if I will actually click that little orange box that says 'Publish' when I'm done. If I do, well that's probably why you're reading this. If I don't it will be saved in my unpublished posts and I will see it every time I create a new post filled with things that everyone will approve of. So for now I will pretend for a bit longer; I will click save and I will read this and re read this until I'm finally brave enough to post it; until I am finally willing to stop confining myself.