Keeping Up With The Little Dude

The past couple weeks have been the most stressful in a very long time and I’m so thankful that the holidays are over, that Titus and I are both feeling better, and that we are going to be entering a new year very soon where anything can happen. Titus had his check up with Dr. Roy a couple weeks ago and it was very apparent that doctor was pretty worried about how far behind Titus is, even for a premie. Titus is 14 pounds and either 28 or 32 inches, I can’t remember which. He has only grown two pounds in the past five months and seems to be falling farther and farther behind. As far as milestones and size go, I feel like Titus is about to the stage of a 7 or 8 month old, and he will be turning one in just a couple weeks. I left the office with four different referrals and amoxicillin for the poor little man’s ear infection. Oh boy. After taking the antibiotic for 4 days Titus started getting a rash. Thankfully, my mom was able to get off work early and take him in. Doctor said it was probably unrelated and was a viral rash that was not contagious and that it should clear up in one to two weeks. Just in case it was the amoxicillin though, she gave us a new prescription for penicillin I believe. Titus broke out from head to tiny little toe in the worst case of hives I’ve ever seen. This poor little boy was so miserable and just looked awful. We took him back to Dr. Roy and he switched the antibiotics again and recommended benedryl and to call if things got worse. Fortunately, he started clearing up pretty quickly once the benedryl set in and was almost completely back to normal just three short days later, which is good, because this all happened the weekend right before Christmas.

Aside from that, we are on a six month waiting list to get in with a geneticist and we recently went to a pulmonologist, which is a lung specialist for those of us that don’t speak ‘doctor.’ The appointment went well but ended in a big question mark, as they all seem to be doing lately. Doctor scoped him, put a little camera up his nose and down his throat. Little man did not like that at all, and neither did mommy. I was sitting there trying to hold it together as he cried and thrashed around, it was pretty awful. But they got the footage they needed within a minute and a half and to the doctors relief and surprise, Titus’ airways and vocal cords looked pretty close to perfectly normal. Doctor said his lungs sounded fine as well and he didn’t think it was asthma. (Just realized this might be a little confusing for those of you that haven’t met Titus, he is a very noisy little boy. He always sounds like he’s congested and has always breathed very heavily, to the point of, obvious, concern.) Doctor said the next step would be a swallow test. He thinks Titus may not be swallowing completely and that there is liquid constantly pooling at the back of this throat. During the swallow test they will xray Titus as he swallows traceable liquid and see if everything is working the way it should. I suppose that was mostly self explanatory. If that comes back normal and the tests with the geneticist comes back ok, doctor suggested a neurologist. If all seems ok and Titus is still having a hard time breathing six to nine months from now, doctor will bring him back, put him under, and do a much more invasive scope. This one will go all the way into his lungs and he would also have xrays taken of his chest. On top of all those pending appointments we have an appointment with a speech and motor therapist. Doctor is concerned since Titus isn’t babbling yet and that he isn’t crawling, sitting, or picking things up specifically with his forefinger and thumb.

It’s funny because when I describe these things to people and even reading back over this, you would think Titus is so much more worse off than he is. Truth is, he’s pretty darn healthy and really happy most the time. He is such a sweet little boy and he’s improving on a daily basis. He’s got six beautiful teeth and an absolutely contagious smile and laugh. He’s my sweet boy. Yes, he’s behind and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t worry about him growing and developing properly, but he’s still my sweet boy and ultimately nothing else really matters. He’ll be who he’s going to be and to me he’ll always be perfect.

Home Sweet Home

The Official November Catch Up

Well once again it’s come to my attention that time is going by far too quickly. Titus and I have been sick for the past two weeks and I swear it was the plague; as soon as we got over one part of it another hit and the poor little guy got it way worse than I did. He finally started feeling better a couple days ago and I didn’t realize that it has been so long since he smiled until he beamed up at me while I was feeding him. It was so nice to see him smile again and I have noticed a huge difference over the past few days; I finally have my little boy back!

We have settled quite nicely into our new little home. Sorry I haven’t posted pictures yet but I actually don’t have the internet set up yet so i haven’t been able to post whenever I want. Our apartment is just perfect for us, just enough space and a spot to put everything. It’s always organized and at least mostly clean, I love it. Mark and mom came over last weekend and helped me hang up all my pictures so it’s much more homey now. Titus loves rolling around in the family room and is usually pretty good at entertaining himself while I cook or clean or do laundry. I finally plugged my tv in about a week ago and have been catching up on the X Factor and Glee, other than that though the tv stays off and we just listen to music while we hang out together.

Work has been absolutely insane but very rewarding at the same time. I have never had a more stressful job but I have never had a job that I enjoy so much either. I was promoted for the second time about a month ago, the new position intimidated me at first but I swear we were meant to be together. It pushes me and I feel like I’m really excelling at it which is always a nice feeling. Titus started a new daycare in Nampa about the same time as my promotion and he absolutely loves it. I know he misses seeing his daddy and Gran Dawny every day but this new daycare is a great fit for him. He’s always loving on Miss Kim when I show up and even has a couple little buddies. Whenever I walk in door in the morning this adorable little 6 year old hops up and says, ‘Titus is here!!!’ It’s the cutest thing.

Titus is growing and changing everyday. He still isn’t crawling but I think having the flu for so long kind of set him back; no one wants to be on their tummy when they’re nauseated. But now that we are past that he is enjoying his tummy time again and keeps pushing off the floor like he’s going to take off. Any day now! I can’t believe that in two short months I will have a one year old, it seems like just yesterday I was sitting in the NICU watching my sweet boy sleep and waiting anxiously to take him home. Now here he is, jabbering and cooing and rolling around on the floor, such a happy and healthy little boy.

Welp, there’s the official November catch up! Hopefully everyone is enjoying the change of weather and is looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays!!



There Is Always Room For Change

I would say that there are four people in this world that actually understand me. I can completely be myself around them and I know that they have never and will never judge me or the decisions I make. They know my quite side and my crazy side and they love me for both. These people understand me because I have aloud them into every single aspect of my life. They know my darkest secrets and have seen every scar when it was a fresh and vonerable wound. They have held me at my lowest points and have encouraged me to reach my highest goals. They know me. They love me. And all four of them are still around. For those of you that think I’ve jumped off the deep end or that I’m making troubling decisions please stop wasting your time worrying about me. I mean that in the senserist way possible and am not trying to be rude, but all this negative energy is just a waste. It’s just drama. If I had truly lost it you had better believe the above mentioned would have said something to me by now. I’m morphing back into someone that has been lost under a ruse for the past three years. She’s been dying to see sunlight again and has patiently waited for the perfect moment to reappear. But she’s rusty and she’s been silenced for so long that she’s not exactly sure who she is or what she wants anymore…

There will be growing pains, there always are. There will be more low points and, yes, more mistakes but the result is so worth it. Joy. Happiness. Love. A strong woman with a beautiful son and a best friend that was meant to be just that.

Facebook

Just wanted to let everyone I deleted my Facebook. Its not anything personal just done with the drama. I'll stil update my blog so stay tuned!!

One of Those Nights

It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes. It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight, to fall in love with strangers.

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical , tonight's the night we forget about the deadlines, its time.

I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22. Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you. You don't know about me but I'll bet you want to.

Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we're 22.

-Taylor Swift



The Countdown Begins

Well, technically the countdown began on Friday and oh boy, have things taken off since then. Friday and Saturday were both filled with phone calls and getting things squared away, on Sunday I took a fun little trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to pick up some essentials for the kitchen, and today I started packing some boxes! Tomorrow is my long day at work, Wednesday more packing, and Thursday will be spa day for me and the girls from North office. A massage and nice dinner out is exactly what I need before my crazy exciting weekend because on Friday I get the key to my new place and I have every intention of being moved in and ready to go before the weekend is over! My own kitchen, my own room, my washer and dryer! I really couldn't be more excited. I've never had a place that was all my own and I cannot wait to see what that feels like. Only three days to go!!

Bedtime Routine

It's interesting the things that stick with you as you leave adolescence and become an adult. Titus has been having a very hard time going to bed lately and most nights he keeps me up till around 1 or 2 in the morning. He of course is fed and changed and most the time he has his sleepy eyes on but he just wants to be held and to know that I am not too far away. This can be very frustrating when I have to be up for work at 5 every morning and I found myself more and more stressed as this continued. The other day a friend was telling me about something that he had read about babies and helping them get on a good sleep schedule; what to do and what not to do. I kind of blew him off at first, saying that I'd already read a hundred things like that and that none of it had ever worked with Titus no matter how dedicated I was. Well, I think he knows I'm stubborn cause everyday I've talked to him since, he's somehow slipped a little bit of information from what he read into the conversation. The biggest thing of course is a routine; we all have one before we go to bed to help us relax and the little guy needs that too. I've tried routines before and they've never worked; going on walks, giving him a bath, singing to him, none of it worked so I kind of gave up on them but this Monday I figured, what the heck lets give it another try. Now at the beginning of this blog I said it's interesting the things we carry over from childhood to adulthood and this is why; it honestly didn't really dawn on me until I was letting my mind wander while I was feeding Titus this morning but the routine I ended up going with is the one that my dad had for me from the time I can remember all the way up to the last time I went to visit about six months ago. Like I said, this wasn't on purpose but I keep my favorite childhood book on Titus' changing table, 'You Are Special' and on Monday night I decided to read it to him. He enjoyed listening to me read so much I ended up reading from the scriptures about Noah's Ark too. Before I left the room I said a short prayer and kissed him goodnight. He seemed really relaxed after I left so I did this everyday this week and finally last night he was asleep by 10:30; blew my mind! For those of you that know Titus, you know that 10:30 is pretty much insane!

Now this is the exact same routine that my dad in Utah and his family have done since I can remember; all the kids come into their room and we all sit on their bed or on the floor. We would rotate who got to pick the story and dad would read it then we would read some scriptures and pray. After that we all said goodnight and got into bed. It's funny that I gravitated to that routine so naturally as I was only with my dad half of the time when I was younger and hardly at all through my Jr. High and High school years. Yet something about it must have stuck; maybe it was the way it calmed me down and got me ready for sleeping even if I didn't realize it at the time. So thanks dad and thanks Gloria! Next time we come to visit Titus will feel right at home sitting on the bed next to grandpa as he reads 'You Are Special.'

Everybody Talks

It seems as though I have once again over analyzed something and went in the complete opposite direction that I should have. When Eric and I separated a couple months ago I debated posting something on here; not a complete blow by blow but a little something to just say what was going on. I didn't want it to seem like I was being a drama queen and honestly I didn't feel the need to defend or explain myself. Lately though people's curiosity has gotten the best of them. The frustrating part isn't so much that everyone wants to know 'what happened' but more that they are asking and talking to everyone except me about it. Someone told me a while back that their marriage was their business and their divorce was their business too. I know a lot of people are confused and that's understandable but how am I supposed to explain what 'went wrong?' No one was there, in our relationship, day in and day out for the past four years except Eric and me and we do know what went wrong, we know it wasn't working, and we know that we are both better off going our separate ways. It didn't work, plain and simple. If that isn't enough of an explanation I'm sorry but there wasn't just one thing or one fight or one anything. At this point I am just trying to get back to a place where I can feel  peaceful and happy again. My number one priority is my sweet little Titus. I feel so blessed to be his mommy and I do the best I can everyday to make sure he is happy and comfortable. Right now we are living with my dad and Garrett but we will be moving out in a couple weeks into an adorable little apartment that couldn't be more perfect for the two of us. We are in a sometimes very stressful transition stage where we are trying to figure out the new normal. It's not a bad thing, just different. But I can feel the dust starting to settle and I can feel those moments of peace come over me when I know that I am doing what's best and that's what I hold on to. I don't know if this clears anything up and I hope that this doesn't seem like some big dramatic thing; I'm not trying to air out my dirty laundry or make a scene I just know that a lot of people are still very confused and since no one has asked me about it directly I figured I'd just respond as if they did.

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted? Now all our memories they're haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye. Even with our fists held high it never would have worked out right, we were never meant for do or die.

I didn't want us to burn out, I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road cause someones gotta go and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better but I want you to move on so I'm already gone.

Looking at you makes it harder but I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry. It started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in, perfect couldn't keep this love alive.

You know that I love you, so I love you enough to let you go.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road cause someones gotta go and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better but I want you to move on so I'm already gone.

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong.

Remember all the things we wanted? Now all our memories they're haunted, we were always meant to say goodbye.

A beautiful song that puts every feeling I have into words that I would never be able to come up with on my own.

A Bit of Catching Up

Well it's been a while since I've had time to make a post and now that things are starting to settle a bit I'm hoping to get back into the habit. Thanks to my lovely mother, I have a cute little new-to-me laptop that is absolutely perfect for blogging.

Titus and I are both doing very well; we have both been sick over the past couple of weeks but we are slowly recovering and getting adjusted to our new life and schedule. We are sharing my old room at my dad's house and even though I was very nervous about how everything would fit, I was pleasantly surprised when it all went in there perfect with some room to spare. Titus seems to be happy to be settled again as the past two months we have been all over the map. He snuggles with papa in the mornings while we talk over coffee and he spends his evenings watching YouTube videos and listening to music with Uncle Bug. Garrett, Titus and I try to go on a walk every night as soon as it starts to cool off. The weather is absolutely perfect and Titus is usually very relaxed and sleepy by the time we get back.

The little man is up to right around 15 pounds and has six beautiful little teeth! He is eight months old today and it's crazy to think at this point he has been in my arms for as long as he was in my belly. His new favorite toy is his giraffe that Auntie Jeanie gave me early on in my pregnancy. He cuddles with that thing 24/7; it makes me smile.

A couple weekends ago we took a road trip to Oregon with mom and Mark so Gran and Titus could finally meet. She was so excited to see him and could not stop talking about how perfect he was. They snuggled on the couch all day and he showed her his dinosaur noises! It was so good to see her again and it was very nice visiting with Aunt Sue and Uncle Jerry too.

The past month I have been adapting to my new position at South office. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it there and most of me was dreading leaving North but I am actually very happy and comfortable. The staff is wonderful and so helpful and my new-ish position is great. I am challenged on a daily basis and can feel myself growing; it's just incredible.

As summer wraps up I reflect on the past and events that have placed me at this point in my life. There are still hard days, there are still tears, and there is still fear for the future but there is also an overwhelming sense of peace and a realistic hope for happiness and something truly great.

An Effort to Avoid the Obvious

It's insane how quickly the line between right and wrong can fade and somehow I find myself on both sides of it. I have come to realize that when you choose to or are forced to lie about the very foundation of your life every other lie and wrong doing seems completely insignificant. The guilt gets smaller and less painful until you are living out every part of the life you wish you had through stories and thoughts and the life you are actually living begins to feel like the lie. Every day is a show; a clever masquerade that most people buy into and only few have the courage or common sense to confront you and demand that you take off your mask and reveal the truth. Momentarily you show your true self but quickly cover back up as your true self is someone you despise. Yet as you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror you realize you don't particularly like your masked self either. You are there somewhere though; the you that you want to be. Somewhere in between the mask and the fake smile and the beautiful gown and the ever flowing tears. If you had enough time maybe, or friends, or space, then you might be able to figure it out. But you're running short of every single one of these things in a very real way. So you continue to live in this parallel universe; stuck and drowning and somehow not giving a damn how it all ends; in death or life, in happiness or sorrow, you just pray that it will end. But the beauty and horror of it all is that it's endless and each day brings you closer to this realization and further from reality.

'What's Your Idea?'

The other day I read on article in the July/August addition of The Atlantic. This isn't a magazine that I would normally read or admittedly have ever even seen; but recently I have been encouraged by a friend to spend more time filling my mind with inspiring thoughts and stories instead of never ending episodes of The Big Bang Theory. So in an effort to find something to read that would both promote actual thought and also interest me, I went to Barnes and Nobel and this magazine immediately caught my attention. (Check out that cover story! Surprisingly though, I really enjoyed and agreed with that article as well as many many other articles in The Atlantic; I may have just found my new favorite magazine, besides Cosmo of course. But now I'm getting off topic!) 

I opened my new magazine and read the very first story, the editor's note, which I usually skip over as I find most of them very boring. This one only took up a single page though and for whatever reason I decided to give it a shot. It was written so eloquently and made so many great points that I found myself immediately and completely intrigued. I'm not sure if it's narcissism or just personal point of view but it seems as though the things I hear and read about tend to somehow shed some light on things going on in my own life, even when the topics are seemingly unrelated. As I poured over this article about ideas and the past I couldn't help but thing of the ideas that run through my head these days and the stories from my past. 

The article begins with James, the editor, talking about Detroit, Henry Ford, and Ford's son Edsel. Henry is depicted as stubborn, safe, and a little old fashioned whereas Edsel is described as open minded and one to push the envelope when it comes to automobile design. He died at 49 and some speculate his early death was due to 'Henry's cruel stubbornness destroying his sensitive son.' The article goes on to talk about good and bad ideas and how they're hardly distinguishable; both presently and in the long run then James states, 'Nothing moves forward without an idea, and without some risk.' As I sit here in a seemingly stand-still part of my life a statement like this really resonates in me in an incredibly inspiring way. A big reason why I'm not moving forward is that I have nothing to move towards; I don't know what I want and I'm not willing to set goals for fear I will not be able to accomplish them. So I stand in the same spot I've been in for quite some time now and challenge myself to come up with an idea. The risk part is easy; almost too easy. I'm not afraid and I'm willing to risk a lot of things for even a glimpse of happiness and a full life. The idea is undeniably where I struggle but I believe in baby steps and today my idea may be something simple but with time, practice, and encouragement those small ideas and those small goals can turn into something much bigger and more challenging but undoubtedly more rewarding as well. With enough drive and motivation anyone can accomplish the most difficult of tasks; and that's what I plan to do.

If you have an extra five minutes I would encourage you to read this article and see what you get from it! http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/idea-factories/9017/

Flying South for the Winter

I can now officially announce that I was offered a promotion a couple weeks ago at work and I gladly accepted it! My boss was working out some of the final details and it was kept pretty quiet but the last few things to attend to have been settled and I will be starting at our sister office in South Nampa in just a few short weeks. This will mean a great little pay bump and switching from part to full time. The learning curve will be a little intense and I will miss my dear friends at North office like crazy but I am ready and excited for this new opportunity and can't wait to see what's in store for me at South!

Our Last July Saturday Night

If you were looking for me this weekend, nine times out of ten you would have found me at the pool! It was a beautiful weekend and I took full advantage of that sunshine. Titus had a great time splashing around in the pool and hanging out in his stroller, sucking on his frozen teething toys while mommy got her tan on. Saturday
was reserved just for us ladies though; Courtney, Adele and I laid out for a little over an hour, chatting and listening to country music as we bronzed up (and burned a little too!)

After wrapping up at the pool, Uncle Bug came over to babysit so Eric could go see the new Batman while I went out to Caldwell for the Jo Dee Messina concert. I was pretty impressed with the Canyon County fair; it was bigger and much busier than I expected and
Jo Dee was excellent, of course. I even ran into some high school buddies at the concert; it was fun catching up and talking about the 'good old days' in Hindy's class. After the concert we walked around the fair and played some games. I got a free rose from the nicest little carnie; I was pretty excited about it if you couldn't tell. :)

Levi and Chelsea waited in line for FOREVER to go on a ride and then everyone headed back to Adele and Ben's for the night. I don't know if I'm getting old or if it was all the time in the sun, but I was beat so I headed back to Boise. I got home to find Bug watching Billy Madison which I've never seen or even heard of. Garrett was shocked and offered to start it over but unfortunately the humor was wasted on me as I was very sleepy and kept having to ask questions about the plot, or lack thereof. It was nice hanging out with him for a while though and just laughing together. It was definitely the perfect way to end our last July Saturday night, at least until next year. #springsteen

My 'Little' Brother

Yesterday I was able to attend a long boarding competition that my brother and a couple of his friends were in. Out of almost 50 people, over half of which were college aged kids, Garrett came in 8th place! I was so proud of him and so excited that I was there and got to be a part of it. After I got home I looked at my phone to find a text from him basically saying thanks for coming and I love you. I don't really know what it was about that text, or maybe it was something I saw that night, but Garrett is really growing up. He has somehow turned into a young gentleman over the past year; I'm not exactly sure where or when it happened but it certainly did. He opens doors for Nichole, mom, and me, he loves spending time with and taking care of Titus, he is incredibly helpful and he is becoming more and more mature every day. I can't believe 15 years has gone by since that day at Raedeans's in that corner booth; mom and dad telling Cole and me that we were going to get a little brother soon..

I'm so blessed to be a part of your life, Garrett! I love you and I'm so proud of everything you do; you are becoming an incredible young man and I can't wait to see all that you will accomplish.

Somebody That I Used To Know

Have you ever had a song come on as your driving that reminded you of an old friend? At first you're like, awe, so-and-so, I remember them. But by the end of the song your heart is racing, you're singing at the top of your lungs, and you're gripping onto the steering wheel so tight your knuckles are turning white. And you're so surprised at 

how incredibly pissed off you still are that all you can do is start the song over and sing it again, allowing all the memories to run through your head as you wonder why in the world that person isn't a part of your day to day life anymore...guess that I don't need that though, now you're just somebody that I used to know..

A Step in the Right Direction

I"m not really sure what to say anymore. I feel like screaming in a crowed room. I'm not trying to lie to anyone or be deceitful. If you have questions; I'll give answers but out of respect for those closest to me and out of respect for myself I'm not willing to 'air out all my dirty laundry' in a blog or on Facebook. That said, writing is how I process and my blog is for me, not for anyone else. If you want to read about the parts of my life that I'm willing to share; stay tuned. If you are going to judge me, try to change me, or hold what I say and how I feel against me, kindly stop reading my blog and stick to reading my FB updates and 'liking' my pictures. I enjoy writing and I enjoy letting the people I care about see bits and pieces of me that I usually wouldn't share in person or over the phone. I know that my blog has had a lot of recipes and fun stories about Titus and about me and about day to day life, and I will continue to post about those things but the past couple months every time I sit down to write something I feel like I'm sugar coating everything. I sit at the computer thinking, for hours sometimes, trying to come up with things to say that everyone is going to want to hear about and omitting the stories that might offend. And that's no one's fault but my own. From now on I'm just going to 'do me', whatever that expression is supposed to mean. No more sugar coating and no more thinking about what everyone else is going to think of me...

Somehow even as I'm writing all of this I'm contemplating if I will actually click that little orange box that says 'Publish' when I'm done. If I do, well that's probably why you're reading this. If I don't it will be saved in my unpublished posts and I will see it every time I create a new post filled with things that everyone will approve of. So for now I will pretend for a bit longer; I will click save and I will read this and re read this until I'm finally brave enough to post it; until I am finally willing to stop confining myself. 

Sweet Summertime

It really is crazy how quickly time flies; I can't believe that we are only a couple days away from July. So what's been going on lately? Titus is almost six months old. He is about 12 pounds and I think 24 inches long. He can roll front to back and back to front now. He also loves to scoot so I've had to start keeping a much  closer eye on him lately. He is always smiling now and chuckling a little too. A smile from this little boy makes my whole day :) He is also eating cereal at night. We have been doing this for about three weeks; the first couple were rough but he is really starting to get it now! Last night I mixed a spoonful of banana baby food in with it and he 

really liked that. He still spends Mondays and Tuesdays with Dawn while I work; which I feel like I have been doing a lot more of lately. But I love staying busy so it's nice. He spends time at Aunt Cole's house on Tuesday nights then we all watch 'Love in the Wild' together. Adele's cousin , who is also one of Joey's good friends, made it onto this reality TV show and we get a kick out of watching it and rooting for him. He spent the weekend before it premiered here in Boise and we all picked at him trying to get all the behind the scenes info on the show. It was weird hanging out with someone then seeing them on TV only a couple days later! It's been fun cheering him on but I think next week is his last on the show and we will all be very sad to see him leave.

Titus and I have been enjoying the warm weather and soaking up the sun as much as possible. We go on walks when it's not too hot outside and we've been going to the farmer's market every Saturday for a little over a month. Aunt Cole always comes with us and sometimes mom, Mark, and Joey tag along too. We stop and get bread every time and we 

usually snag a couple flowers too. Titus also took his first dip in the pool a couple weeks ago. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about the cold water and kept pulling his feet up as far as he could but then the next week we went swimming with Nana and he didn't seem to mind it as much.

Papa is still out of town and we miss him like crazy! I try to send him a picture of me and the little guy at least once every couple of days and he calls about once to week to talk and catch up. He's been gone for over a month and we still have another full month until he gets home. I miss him. I could really use a daddy hug right now..sometimes it's all a girl needs to make everything better.

Anyway, I've been spending more time with Adele and Ben lately; she is in love with Titus and just can't seem to get enough! Ben just started working very long days so I'm sure we will be seeing even more of each other now; neither of us like being home alone! We always have a great time together and we somehow can turn the most 

boring situations into something fun. We've met some pretty interesting people this summer and the other week we actually ended up hanging out with the production crew of a series that will be premiering next week about paranormal activity. We were both pretty skeptical and keep asking if it was actually real or all just set up; they said it was all real but I'm not sure if I'm convinced. Too bad Adele and I are both too chicken to watch a show like that! I guess we will just have to take their word for it.

Well, that's pretty much June in a nutshell. I think I've covered everything except for the fact that I cannot wait for baby June to get here and that I have recently become completely addicted to country music again! Hopefully July takes it's time a bit more and doesn't go by so quickly. Happy Blogging!

'Whoop, Whoop, Graduation!'

A couple weeks ago Titus got to go on his first road trip. Leading up to it I was pretty anxious; how would he do in the car? How would he do at night? What if I forgot something important, like diapers? Well I definitely didn't forget anything; Titus had the most luggage out of the three of us!

The whole trip from start to finish was a grand total of 48 hours, short but sweet. Eric and Joey both had to work but Cole was able to get the time off which I was so thankful for; the trip wouldn't have gone nearly as smooth without her help. After work on Wednesday we loaded up the car, stopped at Moxie for a couple peach Redbulls, then hit the road. We made pretty good time considering we stopped five times and Titus did fairly well in the car. He was very cranky and ready for bed by the time we made it to our dad's house but so was I so
I couldn't really hold it against him. The next morning Chantelle had graduation practice, which is why we went to Utah by the way; Chantelle's high school graduation! So Cole, Tiffany, and I all did our hair and make up together while we talked about school and boys, it was a lot of fun catching up with her and learning more about
 the wonderful woman she is becoming. The rest of the day was pretty busy; we ran some errands, helped Chantelle do her hair and makeup for the night, decorated the house for the after party and I somehow even snuck in a little nap since there were plenty of people just itching to hold the little man for a while.

The graduation ceremony was nice; Chantelle is in choir and they sang some very beautiful pieces, the band played of course, and the speeches from the students were entertaining as always. Unfortunately I hadn't really thought about all the noise and how Titus would feel about it. Let's just say he was not a happy camper; about ten minutes in he was done and pretty much cried for the next four hours straight. Poor little guy. We hung out in the hall until the 'W's started being announced. I popped my head in just long enough to see Chantelle get her diploma and snap a couple pictures. The rest of the night was a lot of fun. A bunch of Chantelle's friends came over for a little party and cake. She looked like she was having a lot of fun and so did everyone else. It was great seeing her so happy! 

The next morning Cole and I packed up pretty early and headed out around 9am. We drove 20 minutes in the wrong direction to grab some Starbucks from the only coffee shop in a 60 miles radius! It kind of blew our minds since there is a coffee shop on almost every corner in Boise but it made for a fun mini adventure. Nichole's birthday was the next day so we both thought it would be fun to hit up an awesome mall in Salt Lake City on the way home to do some pre-birthday shopping. The mall had a lot of stores that we don't have here and we basically spent all our money in H&M. I think we went back into that store three separate times, each time leaving with yet another bag. Titus did great in the stroller; he was pretty drowsy most of the time but when he did wake up he was pretty content just staring at all the pretty lights. After a few hours of shopping and some lunch we finally heading back to the 'home land.' We listened to the same seven songs on repeat the entire way home. 'Call Me Maybe' and 'Payphone' were played the most. Titus slept from
Salt Lake until Mountain Home and was relatively happy till we made it back to Boise.

All in all it was a great trip; Titus did wonderful, it was so much fun seeing our family in Utah, and the best part was spending a straight 48 hours with Nichole. Literally, there was one bathroom break and one time that she ran back inside a store for a minute that we were apart, other than that we were together the entire time. And I loved it! I'm so glad our first trip with the little man went so smoothly and it makes me that much more excited for any trips to come.